Stop the Pain and Conflict so you can feel Connected, Safe, and Appreciated in your Relationship
Perhaps you feel defeated by your marriage or frustrated that you can’t fix it. Do you feel guilty or ashamed for the way things are going or have gone in the past? Or maybe you are angry, wounded or hurt by your partner’s words or actions. Are you exhausted and lost trying to fix your relationship, or simply overwhelmed, stuck or discouraged when things don’t change…again? Are you desperate for help and answers?
Many couples are sick of fighting about parenting, sex, money and/or in-laws…the same issues, over and over. They can predict how an argument will go…before it even starts. Often couples fall into cycles where one partner often tries desperately to engage in conversation whereas the other often withdraws in silence. They try to resolve their relationship issues, to no avail, no matter how hard they try. They vow to change, only to return to their predictable patterns. Finally, they often wonder if it will ever get better, if it is worth the pain, or if they should just separate or divorce.
Unlike some counselors who simply prescribe uniform communication scripts, with no evidence for their effectiveness, I utilize engaging, research based practices designed to address the root of your relationship distress for long-term positive change. I help couples regain a sense of control and integrity so partners can feel close, connected, safe, accepted, appreciated, and validated in your relationship.
Through the process of couples counseling, you will better understand:
- Why you and your partner interact and communicate the way you do;
- How your past experiences and relationship injuries influence you today (i.e. Who comforted you? Who do you turn to? Who hugged you? etc.);
- How to assess your interaction style and how each member of the couple unknowingly perpetuates it;
- How to accurately identify “events” versus “issues” (events will come and go, issues are more enduring and often reflect the overt and underlying emotions partners are experiencing);
- How to view your negative interaction style in terms of an underlying need for closeness and connection;
- How to identify when your partner may be attempting to connect or repair an injury;
- Understand the strategies used by couples in long-term happy marriages (i.e. how they approach conflict, how much time they spend together, how they balance criticism and compliments, etc.);
- How to take care of yourself to maximize positive relationship change.